PhD survival guide

Bet they don't cover this in E891 as part of the 'this will help prepare you for PhD-level study' bit. Lovingly reproduced from Patrick Tomlin's article in the Education Guardian...

PhD survival guide | comment | EducationGuardian.co.uk: So here is my 'PhD survival guide', the five essential things any new doctoral student needs to know:

1. Adopt the correct attitude towards undergraduates. This is a complicated mixture of pity, disdain, condescension, benevolent indulgence and complete indifference. Don't try to be like them, in any way. Don't attempt to talk to them about the new Arctic Killers or Snow Monkeys song. The main point is that, at all times, you should mask your seething envy of their youth, freedom, good looks and future options.

2. Make an effort to get to know the non-academic staff and existing doctoral students on your programme. They're the ones who know how things really work in the department.

3. Presumably, having got on to a PhD programme, you're pretty bright. Now, come on, don't be bashful, you are. But you have to get used to the fact that the other people around you now are likely to be as clever as, if not - gasp - cleverer than you. This realisation hit me about four weeks into term, during a seminar fairly closely related to my topic. Non-specialists who appeared to be about 12 were asking insightful and important questions. My sole contribution was to clarify whether something in the handout was a typo. It wasn't. Get over it. Get used to being a small fish and realise that being around so many other people interested in the same stuff as you, and at the same level, is a fantastic resource.

4. If you're moving somewhere where you don't know anyone, try to make friends with people other than those in your department. Never-ending talk about your area and thesis will drive you insane.

5. Try to treat the PhD as a job. Hopefully, that way you will get plenty done without letting your research pervade every aspect and minute of your life. There's no employer peeking over your shoulder or tapping a watch when you come in late, but you must develop an internal boss. If you struggle to do this, acquire a partner who can make a morning cup of tea both a gesture of love and a veiled threat. My steaming brew always seems to be saying to me: "I love you. Oh, and I'm getting up to go to work now, and I very strongly suggest you do the same."